sucking the marrow

• the last few weeks have been a bit of a whirlwind so in no particular order. . . .
  nathaniel david smoak - we were able to see his little package at the big deal ultrasound and know that all 4 chambers of the heart are good as well as all his organs are formed and are forming. they want us back in a couple of weeks for another fancy schmancy ultrasound for some baseline monitoring they'll do closer the june 2!
• the support and love we received when we let everyone know we're having a healthy nathaniel. i hope all people know even a glimpse of this blessedness in their lives.
• our 7th anniversary. holy cow. it's flown by. i love this man in ways i didn't know existed before. and he drives me more nuts than anyone should be allowed. he 'completes me' (thanks, jerry mcguire) but it's true. when we're in sync - there's nothing we can't do together. and when we're out of sync - there's nothing more interesting than what unfolds to bring us closer.
• surprises. it was my year (we think) so i took charge and made appointments at earthling for massages, we had icecream, lunch at blossom, and a hockey game. needless to say, we were snoozing on the couch by 9:30 that night.
• a weekend get-away to brown mountain beach.
• the mushroom with kevin, michelle, craig and vance.
• david's apprehension meeting vance melting as they hugged as they were introduced. he said, i finally feel like craig and michelle and i have a relationship outside of you, i'm just nervous about bringing someone else into the picture. can you say, 2 peas in a pod? scary.
• edwin edwin edwin mother fuckin mccain (doesn't have the same feel as kevin's rage against the mother fuckin machine, but none the less)! my god. he does it for me. his lyrics, his voice, his passion. . . that's what music is. and then when he brought david wilcox on stage - are you kidding me? i was in heaven. david sounds like he did 15 years ago at 'be here now' or on the warren wilson stage. voice like molasses that wraps around you. a bit james taylor - a bit zen buddhist. what a night. i danced my padonkidonk butt off and nathaniel seemed to enjoy it as well. edwin mccain . . . sigh. david wilcox . . . sigh. and that was just the first day of the getaway!
• waiters? waders? wadders? the things you put on to go fishing and they protect your clothes. david dressed me up and had me belly high in the cold water. awesome. did my swelling legs lots of good.
• a quiet day around camp on saturday to visit, make lasagna and wait for kevin, cynthia, nicholas and . . . . the baby. oh my god, phenix rose campbell is a gorgeous child. fat little cheeks and precious.
• cynthia doing well on little sleep.
• nicholas as a big brother. all he does is kiss phenix's cheeks and say i love you little brother. sigh.
• wendy bring over chocolate stuffed wontons for us to try as she prepares the menu for olivia's wedding in october. darn. . . another trip to the mountains.the camp that ron and wendy have recreated. the generosity of this couple and what they bring to the planet.
• my dreams of selling all and moving into a cabin on wilson creek - selling smores to the families and catching fish for my dinner. the good cabins - not the deliverance cabins up the park.
• safe and uneventful travels for all.
• getting over this flu and feeling human today after several days of weird fever dreams and lapses of time.
• knowing that missing edwin tonight at the windjammer will do my body good (even if my heart doesn't think so!)
• the possibility if i feel like it to join mom tomorrow for a road trip to wilmington to see aunt vivian and boober. we're making the call later.
• only one call from work meaning i left things in pretty good order OR they're figuring out what's best all on their own. either is great.
• the drama from last week slowly creeping back into it's bed and the roles being more defined for the good of everyone. knowing nicole's got my back even when we don't realize she needs to have it.
• you, my little ear themometer, you.

the pollitzer sisters

• http://www.c4women.org/news/news_post_060322.htm
• to anita, mabel and carrie who worked to gain me the right to vote, to visit a library and to attend college. i though about them a lot yesterday as i drove to the little school where i vote.
• the democratic primary being held in south carolina where the rebel flag issue is still being debated each day in our statehouse, in our schools, at our dinner tables and in our churches. where the defense of good decent people is that it is our heritage, it's not about hate. where other good decent people say it hurts them to their core - it is our heritage and it's all about hate. where in the naacp boycotted state of south carolina, a visionary man with an african father and white mother from iowa can win a presidential primary over an incredible hometown boy and an amazing woman of passion. yes, the change is here.
• the changes in our own family as big d and shelbs voted yesterday. not last saturday in the republican primary, but in the democratic primary for many of the same reasons i did. yes, change is here.
• and on a lighter note, for maternity clothes that don't have poofs and bows. so that i can look like me while i'm the size of a car instead of like me with bows and butterflies while i'm the size of a car! yes, change is here.
• for the birth of phenix rose campbell and the changes he's brought about already in his daddy.
• for the 'big ultrasound' being scheduled for feburary 4 at med u. a meeting with a fetal maternal specialist that day as well.
• lunch with chandler and elizabeth and a surprise visit with melinda yesterday after we all voted.
• elizabeth's face lighting up when she sees me.
• a good week with the bigwigs in the office being over! being over budget for the first time all year. the stress relief that brings. the wisdom of janet and maryanne and the gentleness of their delivery.
• holland house special last night the way daddy used to make it - simple, no frills. yum.
• a quick chat with michelle yesterday.
• time with my mama at the maternity and infant boutique. how sheeshee. somehow i don't see this child wearing hundred dollar outfits. . . but she does. and that's cool.
• poppie being back in the woody bilton ford saddle again and enjoying his work.
• uncle greg being home from the hospital after a bout of pneumonia.
• aunt viki being happier than i've heard her in a long long time.
• my 3 girls - miss peabody who makes me laugh, abbie who cuddles, and sandy who is the steady sweet one here to protect me from any child on a bike riding down the street on the other side of her fence.
• you my slobbery one, you.

birthday week!

• perhaps the best birthday of my adult life - lots of calls and cards and emails.
• a wonderful treat at the 'mom spa' in mt pleasant, courtesy of the people that clean my house and my husband. he called and added on to my service as a surprise!
• dinner at fig - finally - four years in the making and worth every minute and dollar. yummy food, quiet time with david. the perfect dinner.
• a productive week - having 3 new employees start on monday which i recruited. haven't had to do that in a while and i didn't forget how!
• a hard move into our new office. it's over!
• a trip to houston planned for tuesday of this week. getting to see how another office is run as a step closer to my new role.
• david showing up on friday afternoon and helping with the move.
• benjamin spending the night friday night and having fun squirrell hunting with david. gross, eewww, yuck and all of that - he seems to be learning the respect that comes with holding a gun and hunting.
• david going with me yesterday to set up my new 'cube'. his good ideas for space efficiency (sp) with the small small space and all my stuff to make the office 'homey'.
• researching the world that is the ipod and how to get it hooked up in my car for less than a million dollars and with clear sound. it may not be possible, but i'm learning something so that's to be grateful for!
• plans in a few minutes to go to a movie with karen and candice at the terrace on james island.
• the cowboys for entertaining david at 4:30 today.
• david doing laundry and helping me get the house ready for it to be cleaned on thursday.
• purging more junque! to goodwill.
• less than 24 hours to baby campbell! kevin and cynthia doing the belly caste on saturday night. how much fun is that?!
• the eyes this child will have from his daddy!
• you, my clear sounding ipod, you!

happy new year!

• an oyster roast at the pond house with some of my favorite people last night. uncle john cookin' up some nice oysters. although i couldn't eat them, the smell was quite satisfying.
• sparkling pomegranate juice.
• mom's 7 layer dip
• a day off on friday with david to just be together. lunch and visits and a movie to reconnect.
• 2007 and all the joy that it brought. reconnections and reunions, trips and visits.
• january to indiana to celebrate dad's big birthday. some stolen time with craig and michelle and some 2 buck chuck at a pottery place.
• april to sedona with denise to celebrate 20 years of friendship. more 2 buck chuck - massages from the massage school, a bit of hiking, a bit of sleeping late, a trip to the grand canyon, a kiss from a giraffe, vegan food and the pool and hot tub at the resort that rocked! 'upgrading' the rental car to a corolla! we were styling! fancy coffee everyday.
• a july 4th week at edisto.
• a floatilla down the river. out with the tide, in with the tide. lemoncello and boiled peanuts. the best day!
• july and august to park city for training and connections with amazing people.
• 100+ club and a diamond for my watch from last year.
• august to atlanta for the braves game with brad, denise, amelia and wesley for david's belated birthday.
• tyler's 2nd birthday. good conversations with cindy this year about him and them and wisconsin. more reconnection time in 2008.
• labor day to hendersonville.
• the move into the new room and the first fire in the fireplace!
• october to orlando for craig's race. holy cow.
• dad and chris visiting in november.
• a quick trip to asheville in november for a baby shower for kevin and cynthia. reconnection with vance! nicholas, craig and michelle and bird (ha) and ani difranco! and dennis kuchinich. amazing. the house, the food, the company.
• mom's wedding in april. the surprise and delight of that day.
• mom in her purple dress. recently at her all girls' xmas party - a woman said to melinda - 'gasp, did she wear black to her wedding?' 'no,' melinda said,' PURPLE!
• melinda.
• angel oak in all its glory.
• my new family - melissa and jimmy and the kids - justine, caden, little jimmy and shaelyn, sam and jilly bean, whitney. my new aunts and of course - poppie.
• monthly gastronomic delights with chandler, melinda and nicole to discover new restaurants in the city.
• david - in all his forms - david. he's quite bossy right now, but i know it's just because he wants to keep us safe. that is a good man.
• hunting season being over today!!! the wind is up so he might not even hunt tonight!
• my 33rd year being quite nice.
• chandler's principalship track - there's light in her eyes and she's a 4.0 nerd! a masters from the citadel - and she says she's not a feminist!
• nicole's first year of nursing school being over and her being a nerd too.
• michelle's orca summer
• craig's triathalon - 15 hours 23 minutes. we're still in awe.
• benjamin going hunting with david and liking it.
• big d and shelbs big adventure - 8000 miles in a car across the country and back.
• kevin and cynthia's big adventure!
• our big adventure
• dr hargrove
• dr hargrove
• dr hargrove
• the support and love we receive every every day through this pregnancy
• an easy and happy pregnancy
• lexapro and its benefits and its graceful exit from my body.
• a 2008 full of a whole new adventure
• june 2, 2008 when baby smoak shows up - hargrove said there's too much junk 'down there' for this to be a girl. so we'll see. . . .
• weekly ultrasounds
• weekly hugs from her and demands and ultimatums she puts upon david. told him friday it was none of his damn business what my weight looked like - i'm doing perfectly!
• a new year's day planned with family and friends and collards and hoppin' john for a prosperous new year.
• dinner reservations at fig next week for my birthday - food is good - fig!
• the christmas tree being down yesterday when i got home from work! all i did was put the rest of the stuff in boxes and 'poof' - the house is back to it's normal - lived in messy self.
• the new room!
• fires in the new fireplace
• david glowing as he shows off the fireplace to all who enter!
• judy blume
• 2008 being a year of new promises to see if delivered in january 2009. january 21, 2009 to be exact.
• a christmas card from angie saying, 'we are thankful to be a member of a community that supporst us and looks forward to more rational national leadership. we are happy to live in a place where the women are strong, the children are children and the town mechanic is everyone's best friend.' may we be blessed with this in the new year.
• and i could go on and on, but most importantly. . . you. may the new year bless you with tidings more than you could ask for, laughter from the soul, joy in your eyes and plenty of collards and hoppin' john to keep your wallet full and your belly content.

a big fat christmas tree!

• the ease of picking out a beautiful tree.
• david's ease in putting it on the stand and stringing the lights.
• the fire crackling as i decorated it. much more to do!!!
• a quick chat with michelle with her in dallas.
• dr hargrove, dr hargrove, dr hargrove
• the potential boy parts we saw yesterday at the weekly ultrasound! way too early to confirm, but she thinks so.
• her support. unending, straightforward, direct, clear, loving, firm. very very firm.
• the hard week of work being over.
• maggie being ok - ok in that the possibility of chrohn's disease is not quite as scary as cancer.
• her blessing of having karen for a mom, dan for a husband and jeremy for a brother.
• life is good
• finding a xmas present i think my little candice will like.
• the farmer's market this morning. pimento cheese and fruit!
• david making sure i ate well this week.
• losing another pound this week. sure didn't think getting pregnant would be a diet! but i'll take it!
• our holiday gala tonight.
• david in a tux!
• you my little pomegranate, you!

june 2, 2008 birthday

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the best week of the year!

• finding out on tuesday that we're KNOCKED UP!!!! today we're at 5.3 weeks. holy cow.

we've gotten so many cheers and tears and jumps for joy from our families and friends. the support is overwhelming and much much appreciated. david's hoping for twins. . . . . . sigh. . . . one of us will retire early!

• words of encouragement
• confirmations of bits of fear
• bets on boy or girl or both or two of the same
• maternity clothes from mom and pink and blue outfits
• the friends we've yet to call - the anticipation of their reactions
• abbie, sandie and miss peabody being gentle with me already
• david being bossy about what i am and am not allowed to do
• mom being ok with not being attached 'grandmaaamaaa' and being open to something fun like grandma beeds.
• dad getting so excited and telling everyone he knows about being a grandpa
• benjamin calling me 4 times until he got me on the phone to say he is excited about the baby. he hopes it's a girl.
• big d and shelbs not even being able to talk to david on the phone for crying.
• our minister mike (who did a great sermon last sunday about gratitude - inspired by this glog i take it) who said he wouldn't announce to the congregation that i was 'knocked up' - he might instead use the king james version of 'they lay together and she bore a child' and then went on to tell me that he likes to call king james 'king jimmy' because he was gay and died of syphylis (sp) and likes to break that out when the fundamentalists get on their high horse. . . but i digress. . . . .
• flowers from melinda, chandler and nicole
• nicole and karen being in the room with me when i was on the phone with hargrove's office. their faces of joy.
• keena not squeezing me to death - not expected. but all of sr. tequila's knew i was preggo.
• hugs - good ones. long and real
• david

and then a celebration trip to orlando to visit with friends on wednesday and craig's ironman on saturday.

• being able to spend time with craig and michelle before everyone else got there.
• sushi for dinner while craig and i watched michelle and david drink all the shiraz that was meant for me!
• laughter
• hearing about michelle's trip this summer to study whales
• learning about how craig trained and what he ate, how many times a week he exercised, etc.
• michelle's pride and his utter humility. it was just something he decided to do!
• stories from our former lives (lord i was such a nerd) and a few from this one. . . one involves keena and an electric razor. . . . . . . so i guess i've had my teenage years since i turned 25!
• craig's mom carol living so close she could come over to be there for him.
• mom and poppie driving down to party with us and be of support for both of them.
• meeting eric and nicole. they lost katie after we lost carson and tho we'd never known each other, craig and michelle brought us together as friends.
• seeing pictures of katie's baby sister, sarah who is 4 months old and absolutely gorgeous!
• perfect weather on saturday for the race which started at 7:30am.
• being able to brag to everyone that we were in florida for an ironman! our ironman!
• the condo being comfortable and easy to be in.
• the fun we had at the race waiting for craig to come by us at mile 60 and 80 of the bike, the end of the bike, the beginning of the run, mile 12 and 19 of the run and the end!!!!
• the other runners' faces as they ran by and found us cheering and encouraging them.
• people of all ages, shapes, sizes giving all they had.
• a yummy subway lunch and papa john's dinner - and brownies!!!!!
• watching everyone drink beer and knowing i can't for a very good cause.
• great conversation.
• the finish line in 15 hours and 23 minutes.
• the tears all of us shed knowing that craig did something so amazing we still can't wrap our brains around it.
• determination
• mind fitness
• vegetarian athletes
• the hot ironman from atlanta who broke his collarbone and kept going.
• the hot ironman from indiana who blew me away on saturday in a much different way than he did 13 years ago with his hair to his butt behind a drumset watching so quietly and taking it all in.
• all things craig!