allowing myself to sit with my feelings

the last few days have held a heaviness here in the city of charleston that i can only describe as deep grief and honor. the air is thick and emotions are right on the surface. i watched the memorial service last night that i taped with tears streaming down my face as mayor joe, governor sanford, the home land security guy and finally chief rusty thomas of the city of charleston fire department spoke of these men and firemen in general. i heard stories all day yesterday of the firehouses from all over the country that came to take care of our firehouses and our firefighters. the batallion that went into the world trade center and came out were here to offer their support. firemen from japan, canada, california, washington state, new jersey, pennsylvania, and of course from the other southern states including a truck from new orleans came to pay their respects.
my friend keena dropped off a honey baked ham to her firehouse and those manning the station so that our firefighters could be at the service were from new york. an amazing community.
i drove by the sight of the fire last night and there were over a hundred people there placing flowers, t-shirts from other fire departments, crosses, cards. . . someone had placed 9 stuffed dalmation puppies with firehats on them. that got me, too.

today i am grateful.

• a community of men willing to show their emotions and their love for each other.
• for a quick chat with michelle yesterday.
• several good cries over the last week.
• the very beginning stages of creating a benefit for the firefighter's families that my company will sponsor and then match what we raise. this idea came from our nursing regional vice president and we will talk more about it on monday. that idea was a nice way to end my friday.
• adrienne feeling at home in my house and crashing here last night instead of the floor of her empty house she's working on. a short hour visit last night before we both crashed.
• david coming home from boys' weekend early to surprise me and that we have a good date planned tonight.
• my parents - in all their forms. chris is my mom and tom is my poppie. grateful that my parents chose partners that i feel good about claiming.
• errands for fun.
• edisto next saturday for a whole week!!!!!!!!!!!! it cannot get here soon enough.
• making the 100+ club again at work for the 2nd year and receiving the honor of a trip to park city. the training i get while i'm there and the awards banquet where i get presented with an award by a man i admire so much.
• the rumor of a diamond being placed on my watch they gave me last year.
• my own room in the resort!
• getting to stay an extra day on the company and explore park city a bit.
• nicole being proud of me. our teamwork and how our visions happen because we work to make them happen.
• my darling sweet husband and his humor when telling me that he has to work nights for 2 weeks starting tomorrow. i guess god wasn't willing and the creek surely rose. i guess i need this time for some self reflection.
• friends who love me anyway i show up.
• you