notes from the universe

'Dang, bridget, just because you're a supernatural, unstoppable, manifesting machine, doesn't mean you can't ask for help. A lot of help. And fully expect to receive it.
That was part of "the deal" - The Universe'

did i need this today.... we've had quite a weekend of just unhappy baby and that's right up there as one of the most heartwrenching feelings of my life. just helpless.

but enter stageright - denise. who last night insisted that i get the pump set up and actually use it so she could stay up all night with nathaniel and david and i could get some sleep. he actually slept - only woke up to eat. which he happily did and went back to sleep. we slept and i have to say, i felt comfortable enough not to even roll over or wake up for that matter. i got him from her about 6 and he was just bundled so sweetly - i had david change him so i wouldn't be the bad mommy! he's been smiling and alert and happy this morning - when he's been awake. so today i am most grateful for:

• denise denise denise!
• her taking time from her life and her husband and being here for just last night. her wisdom and guidance.
• wesley and amelia who are just ok with being uprooted and enrolled in camps and thrown into situations with kids they don't know and having fun. a week with them in the house feels like they have always been here.
• aunt keena's swaddling lessons which i have yet to master - i need her back - but i'm trying.
• nathaniel's social security card coming already! i think he's ready to go to work and start earning his keep.
• my sweet little boy - who coos and smiles and poops. he's strong and stubborn already like his daddy.
• father's day with big d and poppie yesterday.
• david's father's day with nathaniel. his father's days without carson were always so emotional and hard and although yesterday he felt the loss of carson, nathaniel was here to love on.
• david.
• 'mama's got her boobs out. . .' ringing in my ears as i start breastfeeding.
• breastfeeding going well.
• the pump not hurting!!! weird? absolutely. hurty? not at all.
• "david's" new recliner! he's sat in it for about 3 minutes because i discovered it was perfect to feed nathaniel in.
• a date with david on friday night for sushi.
• and on a totally different note, mark IV and his commitment to his family. he will be missed.
• nathaniel's cheeks
• you, my little social security card carrying worker bee, you!